No, not “terrorist,” no one is attacking the USA. It’s just Life attacking me and the people I love. What is the most terrifying thing that can happen? Well, if you’re a parent, it’s anything regarding your child. Doesn’t matter how old they are, when something bad approaches or happens to your kid, you feel it – that heart-wrenching, gut-twisting, knee-buckling sensation: Terror. At the same time, because you are the parent, you are not allowed to collapse screaming on the floor (which is what part of you wants to do). Nope, you must act strong, calm, and deal with the situation.
About two weeks ago, we got a phone call late in the afternoon from our daughter’s ex-boyfriend. She had been in a lot of pain in June from a pinched nerve in her shoulder that numbed her right hand and left her with fumbling fingers — yes, you can have pain and numbness at the same time; it’s happened to me. She did go to a clinic, but not a chiropractor. She has no insurance and little income because she only has a part time job. By July 4th, she was better, but her hand was still kind of numb and tingly.
For the next two weeks, unknown to us, she battled a painful infection. She did go to Urgent Care and took the antibiotic and pain meds they gave her. The next day, she tried to call her friend for help. By the time he could get to her, she was incoherent and having seizures.
We have a number of wonderful angels in our lives, most of them are our adult children’s friends. Her ex-boyfriend has been through so much with her and she can trust him with some frightening issues, so she called him. Then, he (thank you, son), called us. When he got her to the hospital, two more angels went into action: our “other” son and his partner – paramedics. They called us, too. And then, the one angel I am most grateful for: the sweet wife of our “other” son, who works at the hospital, called.
Now, fed regulations protect private patient info so the hospital couldn’t tell me anything over the phone, but from the little info our friends gave us and the tone of their voices, we knew a parent had to go be with our girl. When you hear that one piece of info – “They’re sending her to the ICU.” – you jump in the car and drive.
Now, we got lucky in a few ways and unlucky in others. The bad part was her dad HAD to leave for South America the next day for work and would be gone for an unknown length of time. There was no money for a plane ticket and no way to get one at 9 pm, plus, no one to pick me up at the airport and no money for a rental car. We live in the middle of Texas (bum-f@ck Houston), daughter is in Arizona – it’s a 15 to 17 hour drive. And I suck at long drives…and dealing with authority figures like doctors…
But…I’m retired and could go to her. Our younger son is here with us, still getting all his papers together for his job, so he isn’t working yet, and we could do the drive together in a really good car. Hubby has a good friend who took the dogs, the cats were left with a huge bowl of food…and we all headed out to our assignments.
Once in Arizona, in the hospital, I learned more – they will tell a parent things in person, thank goodness, maybe, sorta…It is terrifying to hear your child (I don’t care if she’s an adult, she’s still my baby!) was “Code Yellow” – which is just a step below “critical.” Terrifying to learn she continued having seizures and stopped breathing at one point, terrifying to see her hooked up to a breathing tube and in a chemically-induced coma…looking like she’s 12 yrs old…and weighing under 100 pounds when she’s 5’6″ and should have at least 20 more pounds on her.
We can joke about it now (ah, morbid humor it’s the only thing that keeps us sane), but it took a four-point restraint and two burly staff to hold her down to keep tests done before they doped her. The boys related how the ER staff was talking about the 90 pound girl throwing all the men around the room. Our paramedic boys also told off the people who were speculating with disrespect regarding our girl’s behavior because she’s “our sister-friend.”
Ah, validation when the test results came back clean – no drugs or alcohol, but very low potassium level, electrolytes, nutrition values, etc. Perhaps a reaction to the antibiotic or previous pain meds? No one knew for sure, but she did, indeed, have a nasty raging infection in her body.
It took a few days before they allowed her to awaken. And, of course, we all wanted to know what had happened, what she could tell us. But her first words were “What the hell happened?” She doesn’t know, either. She took the proper doses of meds and went to bed, then woke up unable to control her body and fingers and frantically tried calling her friend.
We may never know what happened. I believe it was a combination of everything. I have seen a low potassium episode before – my mom was found wandering around her yard late one night in her pjs, yelling for my dad – who had been dead for six months. She was confused and didn’t know me or my brother (this was way before she slipped into dementia). She fought the paramedics, then flirted with them (75 yrs old and still feisty!). An infusion of potassium and voila! All better.
Our girl is also allergic to penicillin and some of its derivatives. It’s possible the antibiotic – one she had never taken before – is another one she is allergic to; she did have trouble breathing.
Then, there was the infection and the fact that she hadn’t been eating much for almost two months…
Well, I took care of her once they released her, feeding her, fussing over her, and left her with lots of proper food, juices, and a clean apartment (!). I’m back in Texas now, but I’m still gonna worry, that’s a given, that never ends.
Is the terror over? Can I lower the alert from red to green? Nope, never. Maybe yellow? No, I’m Mom – the terror alert remains at Orange, a constant gnawing bug I hide deep inside and try to ignore.
So please remember – if you have a friend who is a parent, no matter what age their child is, don’t ever call them late at night. Because before she/he sees who is calling, the Terror Alert jumps to Red: “My child is in trouble!”
Hey, it’s a parent thing… 🙂