Freeing the voices in my head

Have A Crazy New Year!

I’m back!  I slept!  I went grocery shopping!  I’m safely home!  It’s New Year’s Eve!  Indulge in exclamation points!

Oh, come on, you KNOW “Happy New Year” is an oxymoron, right?  So, ditch the “Happy” and go for “Crazy!”  Crazy is so much better.  Suddenly, there’s no longer any pressure to be right or correct or productive.  No one dares ask you to do much of anything because, well, hey, “she’s the crazy one!”

Crazy is much more fun.  Spend a few minutes in a grocery store talking to the produce lady about bananas…  “I only need three; they spoil so quickly.”  “Oh, but they are so good for you,” she told me.  “I wouldn’t know.  They’re for my dog.”  Bananas – 78 cents a pound, the look on that lady’s face – priceless!

Climb the bottom two shelves of the milk department (I’m 5’3″) to reach the last tiny carton of whipping cream.  Not happening (and why are the tiny cartons way up there in the stratosphere?  Men don’t know how to use whipping cream, so why is it up out of a woman’s reach?).  Glance behind you at the muffled laughter as a polite young lady of the Asian persuasion attempts to help you.  Hey, she had the extra two inches we needed to find ANOTHER tiny carton hidden behind mine.  High-five each other to random applause and raised eyebrows…yeah, crazy’s good!

Compliment the cashier.  Today’s girl had a lovely hair style, so I complimented her.  She patted her do, saying, “But I only had time to brush it.”  “Brushing’s good; it’s so smooth and shiny.”  I whipped off my hat.  “I have demented poodle meets light socket hair.  Wanna trade?”  *cackle, snort*  Shuffle away…but, she was laughing!

My apologies for last night’s blog, but I’m feeling much better now!  (Night Court, loved John Astin, loved that show!)  Or maybe the pain pills are finally working…

Have a Crazy – okay – Happy New Year, Everyone!  😀

 

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Comments on: "Have A Crazy New Year!" (3)

  1. As the mom of a guy who’s working at the grocery store (where I become crazy as in psychotic when my 5’2″ frame can’t grasp the last cream either), I thank you for keeping your humor!

    Crazy new year to you, too

    • Thank you, Elyse! Yep, it was a zoo there today, but one of the reasons I always shop Kroger’s is because they had (and usually do it even on normal days!) every cashier open with baggers & helpers in front, in the main departments, stationed in the aisles (oh, maybe they’re trying to discourage thieves? No, I shall be optimistic! They WANT to help us! hee…)…Now, if they would just move the cream down off Mount Dairy Everest, they’d be awesome! (And did y’all know: Kroger’s is one of the Top Five Most Generous Corporations to charities? I read the coolest things in Forbes…) um, rambling now, gonna go veg, sleep in front of the soul-sucker, um, TV… 😀

  2. Glad you are feeling a little better and got some sleep! 🙂

    Crazy is good … I do it all the time. *wicked grin* Definitely hope you had a Crazy New Year. 😀

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